I don't know what I'd do without you.

Before I had kids, I was fairly focused on my career. I was a manager in IT with a promising future in the corporate world. But, when I was pregnant with Katie, after much discussion with Chris, I decided to step down in order to be able to be home with the kids. My company was generous enough to offer me a part time position doing the more technical stuff that I love to do. Almost 2 years later, I am so thankful to be in this situation. I get to be home with the kids as they grow up. I get to do continue to challenge my brain a couple days a week doing work I love. And when I'm at work, we have the incredible blessing of having one of the best families in the world (in our humble opinion) keep the kids. They love it over there. What more could I ask for?

So, I was a little surprised on Friday at a train of thought I had. My boss had called a special meeting of her direct reports to share an offer that was made to her to go to another department. The question came up of who would take her position. She wasn't certain so it was purely speculation, but she threw out the possibility that maybe one of the two guys who replaced me when I stepped down might be promoted. I will readily admit, it's been tough to watch other people do my former job over the past couple years. The Lord has really been using this time to chip away at pride issues I didn't even know I had. As of recent, I thought I had mostly overcome this issue. But, as I have learned over the years, sometimes sin can sneakily hide itself tricking you into thinking it's no longer issue. And then burst forth when you least expect it. When I heard the possibility that one of them might have been promoted, my brain immediately raced to the basic idea that "Hey, that should have been my promotion!" As soon as I became concious of the thought, I quickly tried to erase it. Especially because it shouldn't have even been there in the first place. My boss had already said prior to that comment that she wasn't going to take the position. So, nothing was changing anyway.

The fact that I had this disgusting thought it in the first place consumed a lot of the rest of my day. Why in the world would I want that promotion anyway? I love being with my kids! I love doing the work I do now. There was really no other answer other than pride.

Later that evening, we were sitting in the car at a stop light and it was surprisingly quiet in the car (that doesn't happen often with two kids). Out of no where, Micah suddenly says "Mom, I don't know what I'd without you." Wow. I couldn't help but tear up. It was exactly what I needed to hear to bring me back to reality. It took hearing those precious words from my 3 year old to remind me that I'm doing exactly what God wants me to be doing right now. Those guys can have my job, my old desk, my promotion, whatever. I'll take being with my kids over that any day.

Whirlwind day.

Today was a workday for me, but it was a super busy day so it went by in a blink. You would think having to go from staying home with kids all day to a workplace environment would take quite a bit of effort to get my brain to shift into a different gear. Nope. In a lot of ways, I think my kids are more logical and mature than some of the silliness I experience at work. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do in my job. It's the people that present the challenges. Ever watch the show "The Office"? It's pretty much like that, but 10x funnier. You've got the Dwight's - the ones you have an Outlook rule setup to just send their e-mails straight to the Deleted Items. Fortunately, I've got several Jim's in my inner circle. We can at least laugh at the stuff that goes on together. I spent most of the day with two of my Jim's - Jennifer and Bill - solving some issues and laughing at some of the silliness that transpired today in other areas.

Oh, well.. At least tomorrow promises to be a little less silly. I'll be home with my kiddos. Although, apparently they seem to think I'm the silly one around here. Micah spent most of dinner tonight telling me "Mom, you're a silly dog." I asked him where the bananas were so I could give one to Katie. He said, "I see the banana, mom." I said, "Where???". He pointed at me and chuckled.

Where do they learn this stuff?!